marriage
A More Imperfect Union
2011.01.14 | Just a bunch of silliness, really | dating, marriage, odd couples | 9 Comments
Surprisingly, my roommate is getting married.
Not that this, in and of itself is a surprise, but it’s the “who” he is marrying. And that’s not to say she is at all unattractive or would make a bad wife, either. She’s great. She’s great and he’s great. They are both individuals whom I respect and consider to be among my friends. But still, it’s surprising. Despite being great people, I just never would have seen the two of them together.
This isn’t the first time this has happened, either. I can think of a number of couples, either dating or married, who are an unlikely match. Either she’s granola and he’s a geek, or she’s a genius and he’s an “athlete” (that is to say, “not a genius”). Yet together, to the shock of all those who know them, it somehow works out. Clearly, there are some intricate laws of compatibility which we don’t yet understand.
In light of this, I am starting my own dating service—a service for the rest of us who haven’t found Mr-or-Mrs-Right among the pool of likely candidates. No, with this service, instead of taking the mainstream approach of setting up people with other like-minded individuals with whom they share common interests and ideals, it’s all about setting people up with those who you don’t see them with. Genius, no?
I think I’ll call it disharmony.com.
Menaces to Society are People Too
2010.09.11 | Updates in the life | bicycle, magnets, marriage | 11 Comments
It’s here. The dreaded day has finally arrived. I have now become a menace to society. Although there is some debate as to age at which Brigham Young said an unmarried man becomes a menace, I’ve long held it to be 27, mostly because it was so far off. That is no longer the case. No matter I went to bed last night an upstanding young citizen, I woke this morning a menace.
As alarming as my new title is, I’m not too concerned. I’ve developed a solid four-point marriage plan that is sure to bring me matrimonial success:
Returning to the scene of the crime – Last month I moved back into my previous apartment complex. I gave my reasoning as wanting to live with friends again but that’s just my cover. I realized recently that each of my original roommates in this complex ended up marrying girls they met in this ward. Clearly I have unfinished business.
Lure them with luxury – In said apartment complex not only did they recently refinish the kitchen cabinets (we have handles and knobs now) but they finally got rid of our circa 1970′s red plaid couches and replaced them with nice new leather ones. The girls are already in a tizzy.
Elevating my Taste in Music – I’m not sure who made the original assessment, but I’ve been told I have the taste in music of a 14-year-old girl. No longer. After introducing a few new artists into my iPod I think it’s fair to say I now have the taste in music of a 17-year-old girl. So long Taylor Swift, it never would have worked between us anyway.
Just Keep Pedaling – Having given up running for the sake of my aging knees, I recently joined the cycling crowd. Not only does this mean I deck myself out in spandex several times a week, but it gives me an in with the cycling girls. In fact, I think even the non-cycling girls are impressed. On top of that, cycling is a pretty vain sport and I’ve long held I’m not nearly vain enough.
I’ve even settled on a name for my bike that encapsulates all I hope biking will bring me. Meet “The babe-magnet”, or “Maggie” for short. I was resistant at first to give in to Missy’s name suggestion (shipping on candy bars to Illinois is EXPENSIVE), but as I’ve ridden these past few weeks and showed off the new wheels to a few girls here and there, it has become clear I’ve got a real babe magnet in my Felt F30.
Moral of the Story
2010.05.14 | Just a bunch of silliness, really | marriage, varmints, vikings | 3 Comments
I saw that dragon movie the whole world has been raving about. Everyone says it has a great message and I must say I agree: All I have to do to get the girl is capture and train a wild dragon and deliver my people from pesky varmints…
Consider it done.
It really is a beautiful message, though. Very applicable to every day life too.
Ducks in a Row
2010.01.25 | A rare bit of seriousness | fowl, marriage, time | 12 Comments
It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. This wasn’t part of the plan. I was supposed to get married at 21 or 22… 23 at the latest. Just ask anybody: family, friends, even my MTC group gave me six months post mission, tops. But here I am, 26 and counting, closing in on that dreaded “Menace to Society” age, and still unspoused.
I’ll admit, early on I really struggled with this, and while the thought of reaching my late 20′s without a companion still doesn’t thrill me, I’m more okay with things. In fact, a part of me feels quite fortunate. That part of me realizes I have been given a precious gift: the gift of time.
Despite all its blessings, I know marriage will be no picnic, and bring more than its fair share of trials into my life, both emotional, spiritual, and financial. With the extra time I’ve been given, I’ve been able to—and continue to—work on preparing myself, to “put all my ducks in a row”, so to speak. For example, these past several years I’ve tried to focus on being a better person every day and increase my talents. I am learning to cook. I’ve begun playing the guitar, and am becoming more well read. Over the past two years I’ve also scrimped every penny I could spare and begun investing and saving for a home, retirement, a rainy day… I’ve even started a ring fund. When the day does come that I’ll take the marital plunge, hopefully I’ll be a better husband, and eventually a better father, because of the time I’ve been given and the preparations I’ve made.
Ironically enough, my forced preparation for blessings that didn’t come early may be the very thing that helps me tie the knot down the road. Let me explain: occasionally people have asked me what my “type” is. This has always been a very difficult question to answer. It seemed the girls that really wowed me were as different as could be from one another: short blondes, tall brunettes, artists, musicians, athletes. As I’ve continued to think about it though, they have all had one thing in common: they were impressive. In one way or another they were excellent or pursuing excellence. You might say they each had their ducks in a row, and as a result, not only did I want to be with them, but they also made me want to be better me. Being stuck in survival mode is not attractive, but excelling, preparing, achieving… that is what has always been attractive to me, and I expect is precisely what is attractive to us all.
I recognize I still have a long ways to go in my efforts at arranging the various ducks in my life, but I must admit it feels good to be waddling in the right direction.
