flatulence
Why you have to be so needy?
2011.09.28 | Just a bunch of silliness, really | bugs, flatulence, Nascar | 6 Comments
A friend of mine asked me today whether I thought men needed women or women needed men more. Here’s what I came up with:
Reasons Why Women Need Men
1. To get them places on time
2. To give them compliments about their appearance
3. Security
4. To fix things
5. Because someone has to hold their purse while they are trying on clothes at the mall
6. To have someone who will listen
7. Because they secretly enjoy our talent for making farting noises with our armpits
8. To open doors
9. Because jewelry is EXPENSIVE
10. To kill bugs
Reasons Why Men Need Women
1. To remember and plan things
2. Because “chips” is not a meal
3. Back scratchings
4. Because “war” and “Nascar” are things that happen when women aren’t around and there is already too much of both in the world as it is.
5. They smell nice
6. You think those guys who ride the 3600-kilometer long Tour de France are going to do so if there aren’t any podium babes at the finish?
7. To keep the Prophet off our backs
8. Without them there would be no incentive to trim unsightly nose and ear hair.
9. Because we are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes
10. Sex
Conclusion: It’s close, but providing the Earth isn’t overtaken by a plague of giant bugs anytime soon, I think men need women more than women need men.
