Family
Gramps and Dolls
Sunday, February 28th, 2010 | Family, old people | 5 Comments
I came across this picture today as I was digitizing some old photos for a family history project I am working on. Yes, that’s right, I’m related to these people. In fact, not only are we related, but seeing as this is Grandpa Bob and Great Grandpa Maynard, they are among my direct-line progenitors.
Puts my weirdness into a little better perspective, doesn’t it…
A Questionable Thanksgiving
Sunday, November 29th, 2009 | byu, Family, food, football | 6 Comments
This past week much of my family gathered for the great American tradition of stuffing our faces with Turkey.
I like Thanksgiving for all the obvious reasons. First there is Jenny’s I’m-still-not-sure-whats-in-it-but-I-can’t-stop-eating-it cracker dip. This dip has been a feature of every Martin family gathering of memory. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s in her and Steve’s pre-nup.
Next, there is the age-old pilgrim Thanksgiving tradition of Halo. For the record I’m normally not a big gamer, but there is something to be said about the bonding that comes from blowing your miscellaneous family member off the map while playing X-box on a huge projector screen with 7.1 digital surround sound. Ah, the memories. Following a few rounds we even got my sixty-something dad to play some “Nintendo” when we pulled out Beatles Rock Band. I never thought I’d live to see the day.
Add to this some healthy BYU/Utah rivalry and you’ve got yourself an all-around good weekend. My brother Dave and I are the BYU faithful while my oldest sister Chantal and her family cheer for the U. (I’m fairly certain they are all BYU fans at heart—really, who in their right mind could like Utah?). I thought we had added another follower to team blue, but sadly the Cougar Convert of six posts back defected. Despite all my best efforts to elicit a proper response to the question “Who is better, BYU or Utah?” via tickling and withholding m&ms, the kid stayed true to his family’s (pretended) ideals. I think they’re paying him more than I am.
Following a good meal we settled down for our traditional family movie. Deferring to my unquestioned good taste we watched the new Star Trek, which just happens to be one of the three most amazing movies I have seen in the theater. My reasoning in selecting this flick was that everyone I have talked to who has seen it has liked Star Trek. Pretty fail-proof reasoning, right? Wrong. While I didn’t get a chance to hear from everyone it was obvious that, in the least, both my sister Chantal and my dad weren’t impressed. I guess amazing special effects, unmatched character development, and a well-written story don’t do it for everybody. Go figure.
The movie was followed by a round of Killer Bunnies. For the record this was not my idea, but seeing as I was the only one there who knew how to play I taught them at their request. Discontent with Star Trek paled in comparison to how they felt about the game. I have never seen them so united before (They didn’t even need Halo at that point). The combination of the response from the movie and card game left me asking the question so many of us have asked ourselves at some point or another following spending some extended time with family: “Am I sure I wasn’t adopted?”
Of course I know I wasn’t. Even though we are definitely different people, I’ve got the Martin nose. Plus I inherited my parents’ tastes in ice cream (Cherry Chocolate Chip from dad and Peppermint from mom). Who needs a blood test when I pass the highly scientific resemblance/ice cream combo? Birth-relatedness questions aside, at least one thing is for certain: I think we settled the “Who is better, BYU or Utah?” question as BYU beat Utah in an amazing 25-yard touchdown score in overtime. I was fortunate enough to be there enjoying the revelry, screaming myself hoarse, storming the field etc. Good times. Great holiday weekend.
Chantal’s family: you can come out of the closet now. I have m&ms.
Cougar Convert
Saturday, August 22nd, 2009 | bribery, byu, Family | 11 Comments
Last weekend marked the 2nd annual sleepover between my oldest sister’s three boys (Jacob-14, Jordy-8, & James-4) and their favorite Uncle Rob. I use the term favorite, but really the sleepover is an important factor in keeping me in the running for favorite uncledom as I don’t have (1) a 7.1 digital surround sound theater with X-box like their Uncle Steve or (2) a dog like their Uncle Levi. Rather, what I lack in state-of-the-art technology and canines I have to make up for in letting the kids do whatever they want—as any true favorite uncle would.
Unfortunately the kids were a bit late getting dropped off so we didn’t get to do too much (such as enlisting James’ cuteness factor to help me score a few extra dates) but we still managed to have fun playing games, eating food, and watching a movie. The highlight of the sleepover, however, (besides making James feel better about having to wear a diaper to bed by telling him my roommate Brock did too) was building some goodwill between the kids—who are being raised to be staunch Ute fans—and BYU. I’m not sure if it was due to my favorite uncle status, mind-boggling persuasive powers, or simply the undeniable logic of my position, but by the end of the sleepover little four-year-old James had become a true-blue BYU cougar. (Yes, thats right: I have what it takes to convince a four-year-old.) Jacob and Jordy nobly—if not misguidedly—attempted to stop any pictures from being taken of their little brother with BYU paraphernalia but he quite-of-his-own-free-will wrapped up in our BYU blanket as we snapped a quick photo.
I was a bit skeptical whether the change would last once he got home back into Ute territory, but I couldn’t have been prouder when his dad tried to get him to say “BYU stinks like poo” and he refused. And just when I thought the kid couldn’t get any cuter…
The Dark Side of Disneyland
Tuesday, March 17th, 2009 | allowance, dancing dolls, Family, leashes, vacation | 15 Comments
For the record I voted for the cruise. Somehow, however, last week I found myself in Disneyland with family. (I’m still not sure exactly how it happened but I’m not convinced drugs weren’t somehow involved) I know, I know, Disneyland is the last place anyone would expect to find me. I’ve long held that when I have kids I’m going to tell them that Disneyland is a myth, just like Santa Claus, leprechauns, and allowance. Really, though, there was no getting around it. My family last visited Disneyland during the Clinton Administration. Apparently we have some unnatural obligation to attend every time a Democrat is elected President (and you wonder why I vote Republican), and so, like good Patriots, off we went.
The trip was… revealing. We have all heard how Disneyland is the “Happiest Place on Earth”. Even all those football players on the old TV commercials made us believe going to Disneyland was all they wanted to do after winning the Superbowl. Football players? Advertising where you want to vacation? Football players aren’t even bright enough to pick a career that doesn’t consist of getting pummeled, yet we trust them when it comes to vacation advice? We should have been better prepared. What we discovered in sunny California was a dark dark world. It all began with…
Rabid Children – Everywhere we looked in the park we saw little kids with sharp pointed teeth. Those that weren’t busy snarling were devouring oversized turkey legs. Fortunately, most parents had enough sense to control their offspring within the park via child leashes. To avoid the children we subjected ourselves to…
3D Shooting Games – Our family quickly discovered Toy Story Midway Mania, an interactive game where you ride in a cart and shoot 3D darts at various targets in an attempt to rack up as many points as possible. We learned that this relatively-new ride has been extremely popular and due to that they are planning on creating a new series of similar interactive rides. “Extremely popular” may be the term they are using in the Disney boardrooms but I’d say “Horrendously Addicting” is more accurate. We met one individual who had come to the park for a short visit and found himself still there 30 days later, riding this one ride over and over. Another rider we met comes to the park four days a week and likewise spends all his time on this one ride. Sadly my own mother became another hapless victim. I haven’t seen that level of addiction since Tetris came out on the NES. It wasn’t even enough to wait in line together to ride… she had us take advantage of the Single Rider (read: Dysfunctional Family) line to get as many rounds in as possible. If anyone knows of a Toy Story Midway Mania Addicts Support Group that my mom can attend let me know. The horrors of addiction were only surpassed by…
Small World – Only prisoners in Guantanamo, residents of the Great White North, and those who have experienced the Small World ride at Disneyland know what real torture is. Fortunately I remembered enough of the horror from my first trip to Disneyland to give this ride a large berth. While my family all rode together I ate food and arranged to meet them out of hearing range of the horrible horrible ride. I am one to easily get songs stuck in my head and hearing one repeated over and over in dozens of different languages at high volume by dancing dolls doesn’t exactly help that unfortunate tendency. This horror was unmatched until…
Discover Your Disney Character – In this interactive feature you can answer questions that will reveal which Disney character you are most like. Sounds harmless, right? Yeah, I was fine with it until my mother was revealed to be Ariel. I’ll never be able to look at seashell-clad Little Mermaid in the same way ever again. And just when the nightmares had finally stopped.
