Why you have to be so needy?
2011.09.28 | Just a bunch of silliness, really |bugs, flatulence, Nascar
A friend of mine asked me today whether I thought men needed women or women needed men more. Here’s what I came up with:
Reasons Why Women Need Men
1. To get them places on time
2. To give them compliments about their appearance
3. Security
4. To fix things
5. Because someone has to hold their purse while they are trying on clothes at the mall
6. To have someone who will listen
7. Because they secretly enjoy our talent for making farting noises with our armpits
8. To open doors
9. Because jewelry is EXPENSIVE
10. To kill bugs
Reasons Why Men Need Women
1. To remember and plan things
2. Because “chips” is not a meal
3. Back scratchings
4. Because “war” and “Nascar” are things that happen when women aren’t around and there is already too much of both in the world as it is.
5. They smell nice
6. You think those guys who ride the 3600-kilometer long Tour de France are going to do so if there aren’t any podium babes at the finish?
7. To keep the Prophet off our backs
8. Without them there would be no incentive to trim unsightly nose and ear hair.
9. Because we are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes
10. Sex
Conclusion: It’s close, but providing the Earth isn’t overtaken by a plague of giant bugs anytime soon, I think men need women more than women need men.
6 Comments to Why you have to be so needy?
So… Rob. I don’t actually know you, but I’m a fellow Xactware-ite who heard about your blog through the grapevine. Hilarity. We should be friends. And I’m so glad you’re wise enough to appreciate the offerings of femininity. Last Sunday I attended Elder’s Quorum to be the subject of their weekly spotlight and was once again reminded of the… ahem… stark contrast between the sexes. When I mentioned I loved to cook, the fellas lit up like fireflies and proceeded to pepper me with questions about what I like to cook – for myself, for someone else, for breakfast, would I come cook for their Elder’s Quorum campout, etc. Oh my. Helpless little dears. (But I’ll gladly have those helpless little dears squash creepy crawlies or replace the wipers on my windshield ANY day!!! Not so helpless, really…)
robmartin2011.09.30
ChristaJeanne,
So, I hear you cook…
Why, yes… yes, I do…
Melissa Gurr2011.10.01
Hey, just your friendly blog stalker here. Just wanted to tell you how proud I am to see you blogging again. I like this post, especially your conclusion.;) Hope things are going well for you.
Fausto Coppi2011.10.03
Vi sfido ad un nuovo duello di scacchi. Farò il primo colpo, quindi risponderete. Sia preparato essere decimato e schiacci tutti i vostri sogni in una polvere fine.
Long-time stalker, first time commenter. Just wanted to say that I laughed out loud on this one. I especially liked / agree with numbers 2 and 8 on the second list. Keep up the good work.
2011.09.29