Tongue-in-Cheek

Ducks in a Row

Monday, January 25th, 2010 | Truthiness

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. This wasn’t part of the plan. I was supposed to get married at 21 or 22… 23 at the latest. Just ask anybody: family, friends, even my MTC group gave me six months post mission, tops. But here I am, 26 and counting, closing in on that dreaded “Menace to Society” age, and still unspoused.

I’ll admit, early on I really struggled with this, and while the thought of reaching my late 20’s without a companion still doesn’t thrill me, I’m more okay with things. In fact, a part of me feels quite fortunate. That part of me realizes I have been given a precious gift: the gift of time.

Despite all its blessings, I know marriage will be no picnic, and bring more than its fair share of trials into my life, both emotional, spiritual, and financial. With the extra time I’ve been given, I’ve been able to—and continue to—work on preparing myself, to “put all my ducks in a row”, so to speak. For example, these past several years I’ve tried to focus on being a better person every day and increase my talents. I am learning to cook. I’ve begun playing the guitar, and am becoming more well read. Over the past two years I’ve also scrimped every penny I could spare and begun investing and saving for a home, retirement, a rainy day… I’ve even started a ring fund. When the day does come that I’ll take the marital plunge, hopefully I’ll be a better husband, and eventually a better father, because of the time I’ve been given and the preparations I’ve made.

Ironically enough, my forced preparation for blessings that didn’t come early may be the very thing that helps me tie the knot down the road. Let me explain: occasionally people have asked me what my “type” is. This has always been a very difficult question to answer. It seemed the girls that really wowed me were as different as could be from one another: short blondes, tall brunettes, artists, musicians, athletes. As I’ve continued to think about it though, they have all had one thing in common: they were impressive. In one way or another they were excellent or pursuing excellence. You might say they each had their ducks in a row, and as a result, not only did I want to be with them, but they also made me want to be better me. Being  stuck in survival mode is not attractive, but excelling, preparing, achieving… that is what has always been attractive to me, and I expect is precisely what is attractive to us all.

I recognize I still have a long ways to go in my efforts at arranging the various ducks in my life, but I must admit it feels good to be waddling in the right direction.

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