Rob Martin

To Spock or not to Spock

2008.12.24 | Just a bunch of silliness, really |

For the record: I’m not a geek. With that in mind its time for a quiz: What do Google, Dwight Schrute, Rob, and Spock have in common? No, I mean aside from the obvious connection that we’re all going to take over the world, universe, (or office)… and I’ve already ruled out the geek option so don’t go there. Correct answer: all four are verbs. For the benefit of our U of U and obscure Pennsylvania town college readers out there, I guess I should define the term. According to Wikipedia (so you know its legit) verbs is (I’m not making this up) a gospel rap artist. Not only that, but a gospel rap artist who served a mission in South Africa. Got that? More specifically for our purposes though a verb is an action word, or something you do.

Google has become a powerhouse because they achieved the coveted verb status. I “google” things all the time. (alas it is true, I, too have been caught in their web) So long as they don’t Schrute it, they’ll take over the world someday. But alas, I am robbing you of our real topic: to Spock.

While I wish I could take credit for coming up with the Spock concept I must correctly give credit where credit is due… to a teacher I once had whose name I honestly don’t remember. (that counts as giving credit, right?) I learned this from said unnamed teacher in a public speaking class up at BYU-Idaho (known better as “Bydaho”). The important thing to remember is that Spocking, when done correctly (and like most truths taught on this blog), will get you women.

Its all about posture. When we sit or stand up straight, not only do we feel more confident (and science tells us that women like confident men) but we get more oxygen as we start to breath using our diaphragm. (Don’t make me explain the science behind it… I’ve already cited Wikipedia today) If you watch a baby breathe, their belly moves in and out with each breath they take. Somewhere along the line (I blame Sesame Street) we stop breathing with our belly and use our chest instead. Its also one of the differences between good and bad singers. Good singers subtly breathe with their bellies while bad ones puff out their chests as they gasp for air. What does this have to do with Spock? Its all about the ears. We can achieve excellent posture and quality breathing by imagining we too have Spock ears. I find the most effective way to do this is to imagine you have fishhooks stuck in your ears lifting your head up. Don’t believe me? I don’t blame you, but try it anyway. You’ll be glad you did.

So will the women.

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