Tongue-in-Cheek

Steal of a Deal

Saturday, December 6th, 2008 |

I think we all remember that time when as a preteen boy we went back-to-school clothes shopping with our mom. She’d make us try on a pair of jeans and, in order to determine if the pants fit, would grab them at the waist and give them a little jiggle. She would do this because, as all sentient life forms know, the pants-jiggle is the quickest way to embarrass your preteen son in a crowded department store. She would give some excuse about wanting to make sure they fit, but we saw right through that. I think we also remember how this traumatizing experience left us with an intense hatred of shopping.

Fortunately for most of us we at some point or another overcame this fear and ventured once again into the consumer arena to spend our hard-earned allowance. I overcame my own issues (not all of them, just the shopping ones) with the help of a close friend named Matt who was dedicated to my recovery. Actually, I don’t know that Matt ever knew I had a problem (a shopping one, he knew about all the others), but nonetheless he showed me how shopping can be a worthwhile venture.

Matt comes from a large family. I lose track of the actual number of siblings he has but I’d say a close guess would be 47. On top of this he has a stay-at-home mom and a dad who has one of those make-a-difference-but-live-in-poverty type jobs. They always made things work, though. No, they didn’t go without deodorant or wash and reuse their disposable plastic forks… The secret to their success was deal shopping.

It may be that the ability to scope out a good deal was something they were forced to learn, but I always liked to think of it as one of the ways their family was blessed for the good way in which they lived their lives. Regardless of how they gained this skill, after I saw what this gift could do, I made it a point to learn it for myself. I now consider myself a deal shopper as good as any.

Seeing as our economy is in a slow-down, I present for your consideration the following rules of dealshopping:

Find Yourself a Deal Site – With the exception of clothes I buy almost everything online. There are plenty of sites that will compile the best deals around. My favorite is dealnews but some other notable ones are slickdeals and dealsucker. To consider yourself a true deal shopper you will check your deal site at least as often as you check out this blog (hourly at the least).

Stick to Your List – When scoping out good deals you’re going to find lots of awesome amazing items you’ll want to buy such as pizza forks and neckties for the absentminded. Be strong. Remember you’re doing this to save money.

Be Patient – Some items rarely go on sale or can be difficult to find. The longer you’re willing to wait, the better deal you can score. If you wait long enough someone may even save you the trouble and buy the item for you. You can’t beat free. In addition, I never buy anything I’m not 100% satisfied with. If it won’t do the job right or it’s not exactly what I’m looking for, I wait.

Do Your Research – Some items appear to be good deals when in reality they are simply poor quality items. Checkout websites where consumers rate their satisfaction with the items. Amazon and cnet are some good places to start.

Beware of Paper Cuts – When it comes to coupons, if you can do anything similar to what this woman does with them, go for it. Coupons aren’t something I’ve delved too deep into myself (I think they may detract from my manhood), but I’m still deciding (…on whether I should start using them, not my manhood).

Never Buy Clothes Without First Getting the Approval of a Woman – This one is more of a personal necessity because, sadly, I have no taste in clothes. Women can help you achieve that “hip” look you’re going for. Seeing as I’m 25 and yet unmarried, I am always looking for new girls to help me get that look…

Pant-jigglers need not apply.

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