Wooing Women with Science
2008.10.30 | Just a bunch of silliness, really |
It’s that time of year again: the time when we bachelors of the world conclude we can’t do it on our own and resort to some new desperate scheme to get women. This year’s saving grace: Science.
For years man has been looking to science to answer important life questions—the kind that keep you up at night—like “What happens when you microwave a grape?” and “How can I create x-rays using scotch tape?” Thankfully science has stepped in once again to save the day, this time by teaching us about women in these landmark studies:
Warming her up to you – Word on the scientific street is that there is a link between physical and emotional warmth. In a recent study people who held a warm drink responded warmly to complete strangers. Likewise, people who were holding cold drinks had colder responses. What this means: Besides the fact that I think my ice cream and smoothie dates are over, I’m going to make a fortune investing in Stephen’s hot chocolate.
Love at first smell – Scientists have discovered that women like men who smell good (Surprise!). The tricky part is that different men smell good to different women, but it’s more about their natural smell then the cologne they wear. To make it all more complicated, women seem to prefer men who smell like their own dads (and I thought I had problems). I guess this means if she says “take a shower” she’s really saying “take a hike”
The Heights of Attraction – In this study men were asked to fill out a questionnaire by an attractive female they met either on a high rickety 450-foot-long suspension walkway or on a lower solid bridge. Upon completion of the questionnaire the woman gave her name and phone number to the male participants so that, if interested, they could call her for more information on her study. 50% of the men from the high rickety bridge ended up calling her later while only 15% of the men from the short solid bridge ended up calling. The high bridge men thought they were attracted to the female interviewer when really they were just in a heightened state of arousal because of the scary bridge. What does this mean to the would-be wooer of women? Give your date a bit of a scare, whether on a rollercoaster, at the top of some skyscraper, or doing some crazy stunts rock climbing… but if that doesn’t work out I’m sure she’ll be impressed with your ability to give yourself an x-ray. Just don’t forget the scotch tape.
5 Comments to Wooing Women with Science
Wow. You are a wealth of information. I’m going to stop checking msnbc for world news and tune in to your blog instead.
Kellen2008.10.31
You forgot the most important scientific study: women tend to be attracted to with nebulous an/or exotic occupations that portray an air of authority like Wisconsin State Solicitor General or Assistant Surveyor to the Northwest Regional Fish and Game Commission. It doesn’t matter that your actual job entails throwing fish guts in a pond because its the mystery and power that will make her swoon over you.
The heights of attraction study was done testing male subjects and they came up with rather conclusive results. But, I would guess that women would not react quite the same as guys react in the same situation. Since this worked so well with the male subjects, you need to figure out what situation would have similar results for women.
Jenni2008.11.05
Deep. Ni shi yi gi niang de ke xue jia ma?
Jenni – 我不是吧。女生太複雜！
2008.10.31