The Same Yet Oh So Different
2011.10.27 | The genius that is U-Toob | slew, tears | 2 comments
There’s something about this little girl’s reaction that reminds me of myself… yet at the same time, I think I’d by crying for a whole slew of different reasons…
Skip to the 1:40 mark if you want to go straight to the good part.
Why you have to be so needy?
2011.09.28 | Just a bunch of silliness, really | bugs, flatulence, Nascar | 6 comments
A friend of mine asked me today whether I thought men needed women or women needed men more. Here’s what I came up with:
Reasons Why Women Need Men
1. To get them places on time
2. To give them compliments about their appearance
3. Security
4. To fix things
5. Because someone has to hold their purse while they are trying on clothes at the mall
6. To have someone who will listen
7. Because they secretly enjoy our talent for making farting noises with our armpits
8. To open doors
9. Because jewelry is EXPENSIVE
10. To kill bugs
Reasons Why Men Need Women
1. To remember and plan things
2. Because “chips” is not a meal
3. Back scratchings
4. Because “war” and “Nascar” are things that happen when women aren’t around and there is already too much of both in the world as it is.
5. They smell nice
6. You think those guys who ride the 3600-kilometer long Tour de France are going to do so if there aren’t any podium babes at the finish?
7. To keep the Prophet off our backs
8. Without them there would be no incentive to trim unsightly nose and ear hair.
9. Because we are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes
10. Sex
Conclusion: It’s close, but providing the Earth isn’t overtaken by a plague of giant bugs anytime soon, I think men need women more than women need men.
Makeout Point with Maggie
2011.07.07 | Updates in the life | bicycle, relationships, spandex | 8 comments
View from the top of "Makeout Point", er, Squaw Peak
Took my girl Maggie up to Squaw Peak last night. Talk about a workout…
Speaking of Maggie, I have to say, I think my relationship with her has been my longest to date. I’m not sure what to attribute that too… maybe all of the quality time we spend together. Or the fact that she is the only girl I’m okay wearing spandex for.
I know I’ve been AWOL for awhile. More updates to come… after le tour, most likely.
Disclaimer: If any of you read this and thought I was, very ungentlemanly, kissing-and-telling, you missed the boat. Hint: click the “Maggie” link…
Manliness 30% Off
2011.03.25 | Just a bunch of silliness, really | manliness, poll, real deal | 8 comments
I grew up in a household where coupons were king. My mom is a coupon mastermind and would spend what seemed like hours going through the ads and filing away all the best deals in her coupon tote. With seven kids, I’m sure this was a necessity to make ends meet. It did come at a cost though. Shopping became an expedition. As we’d walk through the aisles of the grocery store she’d stop every few feet as she’d see something on the shelf and dig in her tote to find a coupon she could use. In reality these shopping trips likely lasted no more than an hour, but for a kid with no attention span it seemed like an eternity. Fortunately, thanks to my incredible persuasive powers I was usually able to convince my mom to get me a few hot dogs or an ice cream cone to keep me occupied, at least until around aisle 3.
As I now do my own shopping and have come to accept the fact I’m a rather frugal-minded individual, I have considered on a number of occasions whether I, like my mother, should be using coupons as I do my grocery shopping. Time and again, though, I have come to the same question: is it considered unmanly to use coupons? Sure, my mom can get away with it, but what about me, an aspiring man whose list of manly accomplishments extends to winning nastiest stache 2009? I’ve got enough liabilities as it is (14-year-old girl tastes in music, anyone?), and don’t know that I want to add another to the list. I can just imagine the conversations:
Girl A: “Hey, why’d you and Rob break up?”
Miss 2011 (or 2012, etc). “Oh, things were going great… until I discovered he uses coupons.”
Girl A: *Gasp*
As this blog enjoys such an admirable following of faithful and trustworthy readers, I pose this question to you:
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What’s in a Name?
2011.03.05 | Just a bunch of silliness, really | André the Giant, fame & glory, prudence | 6 comments
Being a family history guy I’ve always had some interest in the etymology of names. It’s fascinating to look at the trends throughout history and in various parts of the world. For example, back in the day in Britania, it was not uncommon for a couple to name their oldest son after the husband’s father, and the oldest daughter after the wife’s mother. In Scandinavian countries, last names often changed with each generation and spoke of the relationship to the father: Gunderson (son of Gunder), Olafsdotter (daughter of Olof), etc. Even occupations (Taylor), locations, (Attwater – dweller at the water), and physical features (André the Giant) helped determine the names of individuals in divers periods, locations, and wrestling federations.
Perhaps my favorite naming trend, however, was the giving of “exemplary” or “successful” names to children in the hopes that the child would thus be inspired to live a better life. For girls, these often took the form of virtues: “Thankful”, “Virtue”, and “Prudence”, just to name a few. For the boys, it was all about titles: “President”, “General”, “Doctor”. How awesome is that? It is a mystery to me why such naming practices died out, but it is something I am determined to remedy. I hereby announce to the world my intention to set my future sons on the right path in life by giving them worthy titles as first names. In addition to the three previously mentioned, I’ve come up with some additional options as well:
- Czar
- Admiral
- Fuhrer
- Governor
- Captain
- Caesar
- Kaiser
I can’t wait to have kids.
Dear Smiley Face to Text (S.F.T.T.) Ratio
2011.02.24 | Thank you notes | emoticons, flirtation, weights & measures | 7 comments
Leave a Message at the Beep
2011.02.19 | Just a bunch of silliness, really | | 3 comments
I love my voice mail. Apparently so does everybody who calls me too. Well, aside from the ones who are a bit creeped out. Here’s a collection of some of the best responses when people have given me a call.
Curious what is so entertaining/creepy about my message? Give me a call. I’ll be sure not to answer.
